WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE
(Music: Taylor; Lyrics: Steph)

I went home for my tea, which my daddy made for me,
Momma's gone away to the State Penitentiary,
"This cheese on toast tastes great," I say, "But why has it gone brown?"
"Worcestershire Sauce," he says, "The best there is in town."

From the day I was hooked, on the spicy brew,
Every single meal and drink, I'd add a splash or two,
I'd wake up cold and sweaty, if I hadn't had my fix,
You know there are far worse ways, a girl can get her kicks.

In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce,
Makes women young and sexy, makes men hung like a horse,
A condiment for life which gets better with every course,
In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce.

Worcestershire Sauce was born, in old Ombersley,
In the days of Empire, in the nineteenth century,
Lady Sandys got the recipe, from Mrs Grey,
Who got it from her uncle Charles, in India, far away.

The years went by, the sauce it travelled, all across the land,
A bottle of the brown stuff, was always close at hand,
Adventurers on foreign shores, were often heard to curse,
The spicy sauce of Worcestershire, had always got there first.

In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce,
Makes women young and sexy, makes men hung like a horse,
A condiment for life which gets better with every course,
In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce.

(Spoken) "Take malt and spirit vinegar, molasses sugar and spice,
Anchovies and tamarind and other things quite nice,
Garlic salt and onions and a little pinch of heaven,
If I told the secret I'd be face down in the Severn."

It adds colour to your coffee, for an all-over tan,
It adds lead to a pencil, better than Viagra can,
The Great Western Railway, rolls smoothly on the stuff,
You can drink it in cocktails and never have enough.

A bottle is my best friend, when I am out on a date,
I dab a bit behind my ears and things will turn out great,
A man took my fancy and I lured him to my bed,
But he didn't like Worcester Sauce, so I had to shoot him dead.

In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce,
Makes women young and sexy, makes men hung like a horse,
A condiment for life which gets better with every course,
In the wild west country, they love their Worcester Sauce.